


The AsshoLe Returns

by cantdoausername



Category: Death Note
Genre: He's an asshole, L does not like Ryuzaki, L does not like most things, and he's really an asshole to Light, he tosses the ryuzaki persona out the window and spits on it, i changed the whole scene, i made it better imo, it's just L in all of the worst of his personality, the title is a joke but the fic sure isn't, this is a rewrite of the roof top scene, this is his last dick move before he dies
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-06
Updated: 2016-06-06
Packaged: 2018-07-12 15:08:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,257
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7110604
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cantdoausername/pseuds/cantdoausername
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>L's death is near and he no longer wants to act as a persona he loathes. The time for games is over and he has accepted his fate. There is nothing more for him and so he acts as himself once again.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The AsshoLe Returns

**Author's Note:**

> I'm about to roast the fuck out of Ryuzaki. Fuck that guy :) 
> 
> P.S. I'm literally one person so mistakes happen. Sorry.

The rain was cleansing in a way, he supposed. Water had always had some kind of symbolism in any piece of literature that he found. It was a cleansing, a rebirth, a simple way to get the dirt and grime of your own choices off yourself. Perhaps it was necessary for him because any God or Goddess knew that he needed it. The air was cold and he felt like he may freeze if he stayed outside for any longer. And yet he made no movement. There wasn’t any need to care about his health anymore. Maybe it wasn’t the air that was cold, maybe it was the icy touch of death that was looming over his shoulder.

“Ryuzaki! What are you doing?”

No, it was just Light. Who, coincidently, was close enough to the real thing in L’s mind.  He made no move to really acknowledge Light in the slightest bit because he honestly didn’t want to. Confronting death seemed like it may be too much for him. But, at the same time, he might as well. He was well aware that he had met his end, and he could feel it deep in his aching bones. He was in constant pain because of the persona he chose to take on. His back and legs could barely take the crouching and the poor posture. However, he had already sacrificed his entire mind and body to the Kira case; the case that would be his last was tearing him apart. It was the end of the road and what came next was something he could have never prepared himself for. He couldn’t stop the inevitable no more than he couldn’t stop his hands from shaking when he deprived himself of all sleep for a believable act.

Parting was such sweet sorrow, wasn’t it? Actually, it might have even been for the best because L was so tired of it all. This case had drained him for all he was worth, and he could not do a single thing about it. He knew who the culprit was, he had always known. But, no amount of knowing was going to save his life. He felt like all he could do was accept his end that was fast to approach and consume him entirely.

He had never liked funerals. He had been to too many and they were never a happy affair. People claim that they wanted to celebrate life instead of mourn the dead, but the celebrating was difficult when the tears wouldn’t stop. Still, he didn’t know what his own funeral was going to be like. There wouldn’t be anyone there and no one would know of it. The world would go on without him and he knew that. Although, the world just might become worse. He could not stop Kira. Therefore, the world would crumble. Did he care? On some personal level, he did. He was human and he had lived in this world for twenty-five years. So, surely, he must have had some kind of connection with it. But, he felt so detached that he couldn’t give himself a concrete answer.  

He had meant to only shut Light out for an hour or so, but the other was rather persistent in getting his attention. Oh, how he would love to push him off the roof and kill his murderer but he had some form of self-restraint. It was time to throw away the towel and accept his defeat. Kira had truly won, and they both knew it. So much was unspoken between he and Light, but it needed to be that way and L knew it better than anyone else. There was nothing better than keeping secrets from your adversary/friend/co-worker. Perhaps it was invigorating in a way. This has been the most difficult case that he had ever taken on, and he didn’t even get to finish it. He wanted to be the one to toss Light in prison and send him to his death. However, it appeared to him that Light would be the one sending him to his death. Losing was a terrible feeling and L wished he didn’t know he was going to die. He wanted to live his last day in pure, unaware bliss. But, he was never unaware of the truth. He could sense it as clear as day. He was a dead man walking. He felt so empty. It reminded him of a poem.

_We are the hollow men_

_We are the stuffed men_

Leave it to a poem to describe his life. He had done so much in twenty-five years, but he still felt so empty. So hollow in every way that he could have been. There was almost nothing to show for what he had done. No one really knew L, and they never would. L was going to disappear from people’s memories, and a bitter part of him hoped that Kira would too. If he was going to go down then he could only hope that Light would be forgotten too. He hoped that Light would never have the satisfaction of being something bigger than a forgotten memory of years long ago.

“Ryuzaki! Are you even listening to me!?”

L’s eye twitched as he heard Light call him by that name. He hated that alias more than ever, and he was out of that mindset for the time being. He had to take it on, and he knew that perfectly well. However, that in no way meant he needed to enjoy it. He was allowed an opinion, and he had one. He wanted to never set foot back in that painful slouch. He never wanted to straighten his hair before Light woke up or put on makeup because his dark circles were fading whenever he snuck in an hour or two of sleep.

_Dear God, don’t make me slip back into it. I am so tired._

He was no longer hunching his back in a dramatic fashion nor was his hair straightened. He stood up like he always would and the curls of his black hair were barely visible as the water soaked him completely.

“There are no cameras up here. Such safety precautions are no longer necessary, Light.”

There is a lack of formality in L’s voice and he doesn’t pay any mind to the honorifics that he had grown accustomed to. He might even come off as rude, but he didn’t care anymore. Was he supposed to be kind to his murderer? That was a social protocol that he had never heard of before in his life. He refuses to be anything other than himself. If Light is going to kill him then he will kill L, not Ryuzaki. Light is going to see who he is killing and he will see L in all of his entirety. If this is truly the end then L is going out as himself.

“I recognize that, but I don’t see how I was taking any precautions, Ryuzaki.” Light says, and he is almost confused by what he is seeing. He had suspected a few things, naturally, but he was never certain about any of it.

“ _Don’t call me that._ ” There is venom in L’s voice and it is as clear as the sound of rain hitting the ground. He will not tolerate anything other than himself, and he will make Light understand that. He wasn’t going to put on any form of a personality other than his own. Light was going to remember L until the day that his twisted heart stopped beating.

There is a moment of pure, tense silence between them. It’s almost as if they know that is going on but neither of them is going to admit it. But, something needs to be said.

“I understand, L.” Light replies, and it feels odd to say that. He had never truly gotten the opportunity to call L by who he was. It was always by an alias, always so impersonal. Now, though, he was face to face with the man who was the perfect adversary. He isn’t sure what he is meant to do but he has a feeling that he has no choice but to experience L for all he is. He feels trapped in a spot he cannot get out of, but that is exactly what L wants. He is sure of that.

L lets out a sigh as he hears his name because he doesn’t hear it anymore. He hasn’t acted like himself in weeks. It’s painful but it feels good all the same. He wants to be himself before he dies, has he not earned that much?

“Perhaps you do, Light. I’m not the only one of us who hides behind a mask for safety. You do the same, and it’s no secret to me. Lies are your specialty, I am certain of such. It takes a liar to know one, and I have grown to know you very well.”

He is ruthless with his words and he is fine with it. He never gets to give his opinion. It’s always censored and tweaked for the sake of those around him. But, he just doesn’t care anymore. He is a dead man walking and he will speak his mind, and Light will listen. Whether he wants to or not. Such specifics mean nothing to him.

“I think you’re mistaken. I can assure you that I do not lie as much as you may have led yourself to believe.” Light lies, and he knew it. There was no doubt in his mind that L had him figured out down the smallest details.

It happens before he can even stop himself. L laughs at Light. He laughs at the bullshit of an answer that comes out of Light’s mouth and he honestly didn’t even want to hear it. But, he did expect an answer like that. Light did have his own persona that he needed to keep up and there was no dropping it around L. He had to give the teen some credit- his dedication was impressive. L could relate to that. The laughing stopped abruptly as he contained himself. He looked at Light right in his eyes, staring right into his soul.

“There are no cameras, Light. So, there’s no need to lie to me.”

“I’m not lying, L. I-”

“ _Ah_ , but you are. I know you are. You know it too. Don’t you ever get tired of this? It must be draining to cover everything up from the world. I cannot imagine what that may be like… Oh, would you look at that… Now you’ve gotten me lying. Such a thing must be contagious.”  

Light wonders if he should just push L off the top of this building. It seemed so appealing to him, and he would get to kill the bastard with his own two hands. It would be everything he ever wanted and then more, but he decides against it. There may have been no cameras but the task force would know that wherever L wandered off to, Light was sure to follow. They were not handcuffed anymore, but they never left the vicinity of each other. Perhaps they were attempting to suffocate one another. That in itself seemed very likely.

“Honestly, L, I have no idea what you could possibly be talking about. Feel free to continue on with whatever rant you please, but do not drag me into it. I see absolutely no point in you doing that. Either say what you mean or say nothing at all. That is where I will end it.”

It happened so quickly that L couldn’t stop himself. He had quickly approached the mass murderer and he felt like punching him would be so self-satisfying that he almost did it. Instead, he just got a good look of Light. His features. The way his hair was getting ruined by the rain. The deadly look in his eyes. Was this Kira? Was it Light? Was there even a difference? L thought that there used to be, but not anymore. Kira and Light were the same person, and he was going to end L’s entire being. This one man was going to kill him. It should be terrifying to stare death in its eyes and L never blinked. He could stare into the abyss and he would make the abyss cower in fear.

Their own pride stopped them from backing down from this non-verbal argument. They couldn’t do it and they refused to. Neither of them would dare to admit defeat to anything. But, they both still knew that there was a loser among them. And it was L. L wouldn’t be walking into the workroom tomorrow, but Light would. L wouldn’t see the end of the case, but Light wouldn’t either. The Kira case would never be solved as far as either of them knew. This was the end of the road for their fight.

L is going to lose, so he might as well talk first.

“It seems impossible at this point, Light. Because I will drag you with me. This doesn’t end with me. You can run and you can hide, but I pray to God that you will be stopped. No context is needed for either of us. Nor do you need to answer me. Just know this: I will never stop watching you. You will feel my presence for the rest of time, Light. You will not rest until you die. It’s cryptic and I hope my words haunt you. I want you to feel all of the pain and suffering that you have caused the world. It is my last wish, Light. And I will ensure that it comes true. Even in death you cannot run from me. I am at the end of my rope. This is it for me, but not for you. And I hope you are miserable for the rest of your life.”

There is nothing more than raw anger in L’s voice. He hates that this is the end and he doesn’t care about hiding away from the world anymore. He didn’t beat Light, no matter how close he came. This will be the last time that they are face to face with one another, and he is going to get his thoughts out in the open. He is cruel and he is blunt. This is fine by him. He doesn’t need to act like anyone that he isn’t. And he will not die as Ryuzaki. He is L Lawliet and he will die as such. Light can take his life but he will not take his personality.

The mass murderer is stunned into silence. How was he supposed to respond to that? He had no idea what to say or what to do. He was certain that L knew what was going to happen. It was written all over his face. The secret was out in the open and it was like they were talking about it for the first time. Light was Kira. L was L. There was no hiding. No masks. Just two men fighting against one another without a barrier.

“Such strong words, L. I never thought you had it in you.”

“You never knew me very well.”

Light felt like that was a blow to his ego. He had always been under the impression that he did know L, but he didn’t. He never had. The man he knew was a fake persona created to mess with his mind. This was the real L, and he did not this man in the slightest bit. It was terrible to know that all of this time he was being lied to, but he had been doing the same thing. Although, he supposed it was different when it wasn’t him doing all of the lying. When his ego was involved nothing else really mattered to him. But, he didn’t to appear to have this affect him too badly.

“No, perhaps I didn’t. You never gave me the chance.”

The sentimental bullshit makes L want to gag it’s so sappy. He wants nothing to do with a Light who is incapable of showing himself for what he was. If L could do it then surely Light could too. But, then again, Light wasn’t the one dying so showing his true colors would almost be counterproductive. Still, even with all of these thoughts, L rolls his eyes. He is so done with Light. He’s so done with absolutely everything.

“Have you ever thought, if only for a moment, that you aren’t God’s gift to humanity? Really, Light, you should try some exercises to humble your God-complex somewhat. It’s really quite repetitive at this point. Although, you always have been the type to love the sound of his own voice… So, I really shouldn’t think any better of you.”

The harsh words feel like bullets for Light, but they feel so good for L to say. He wants nothing more than to reduce Light to exactly what he was. He was a lying, manipulative, megalomaniac, with so many other terrible traits that L didn’t enough time to breathe to even say them all. Perhaps this was self-indulgent of him. He wouldn’t put that past himself because he was enjoying this. He didn’t want to pretend to be Light’s friend or to pretend to be someone he wasn’t. L was blunt and deathly honest. Nothing got past him and he saw through everything. Especially Light.

“You think so lowly of me, L. And here you were my hero for so long.”

“You should make some new heroes because I am the worst you could possibly have. I hate to break down whatever belief you may have, Light, but I am nothing like you thought I was. L is something that never should be looked up to. I care no more for justice than I do for -oh, let’s say- yogurt. I don’t really live for either but some people are really into either or. But, I certainly am not. Still, I don’t expect you to ever understand. You will continue to fight for a false sense of justice that you’ve created for yourself and continue to think that you are doing something good for the world. In truth, Light, you are no better than me. You do things for yourself and nothing more. There’s nothing wrong with that… But, I catch criminals and you… Well, you do other things.”

The implications are as clear as day, and they could both see it. Neither of them was stupid by any means. L was more than certain that they were both geniuses, but what good would that do him now? It really wouldn’t help him. He was not a good person, just like he wasn’t a bad person. A gray area was an odd place to be in but that was where he would always reside. He could go either way but he remained neutral.

Then there was Light. L knew that the mass murderer was most definitely not in any form of a gray area. He was something else entirely. His leaning depending on the person talking about him. However, L knew where he stood. He was no fan of Yagami Light. He loathed Kira and everything he stood for. Changing the world to make it a better place couldn’t be done, and it really couldn’t be done by someone like Light. Light was wholly in the wrong with what he was doing as Kira and L would stand by that opinion until he was six feet under.

“I can admit to doing things for myself, L. No human is totally selfless and everyone knows that. Still, I can always try my best-”

“Pardon my language, Light… But, really, you are so full of bullshit. I am absolutely convinced that you are on my level of terrible, or maybe you’ve surpassed even me. It’s impressive, I’ll give you that.”

The rain is still pouring down on them, but neither seem to care. They are too caught up in this altercation that nothing else matters to them. Which, in reality, is something that happens a lot with them. They are so caught up in their own games with each other that the whole world is like an afterthought for them. It had always been that way since the Lind L. Tailor incident.  They had a tight grip on one another and neither would let go. They were going to kill each other because they were meant to be enemies until the bitter end. But, they wouldn’t be dying at the same time.

L walked away from him right after that and that was all he could do. He was so close to his end that he didn’t want to even look at Light anymore. He just wanted to be alone now, and he was safely indoors once again. Not feeling the cold rain on his entire being was something to adjust to, but he was warmer now that he was inside. Still, he could never be alone. Not with Light in the building. They were practically joined at the hip now, and L couldn’t ignore that.

“What’s gotten into you, L? You’ve never been like this before. I… I’ve never seen you like this before.”

“Good correction. You’ve never seen me like myself. And you never will again. This was a one time deal. Just remember, Light, this is me. Ryuzaki is nothing more than a persona that had nothing to do with who I am. If you are going to remember anything, then remember me for who I am. I’d rather you think ill of L instead of thinking that Ryuzaki was me. He isn’t. He is a fabrication, nothing more than that. I am nothing like him, in truth. I am like you in the sense that I must do whatever I have to in order to further my own agenda. This is merely the truth and I will only provide you with such at this moment. I suppose, Light, that this is my goodbye. You’ve been a worthy adversary and I’ll see you in hell.”

L walks away from him for good then, as he gets farther away his posture begin to slump as he reverts back into the persona that he hates more than Light himself. He cannot stay out of this persona for too long and he realizes it. He needs to slip back into it before he waltzes back into the work room. He dries himself off in the confines of his own room, changing into a fresh pair of clothing. L looks at himself in the mirror and he can tell that he is no longer himself. He has the mindset of Ryuzaki once more and yet the little sliver of himself hates it. His wavy hair is matted down and so he begins to brush it out, getting out all of the tangles before he straightens it as well. This persona is draining and he is ready to stop acting in it. His hair is straightened and he brushes it so it looks as wild as it was supposed to. He reapplies the undereye makeup to give himself dramatic dark circles that Ryuzaki was known for. He looks at himself in the mirror once again. Yes, this is right. This is the persona he loathes.

He does not look back as he re-enters the workroom, going directly for his chair.  Light has already returned, looking as perfect as ever. He sits down next to his killer and gets back to work. This will not last long he is sure of it. Deep inside himself he can sense that the end is approaching him. His coffee is too sweet and he already knows it as he stirs in another sugar cube.

Watari’s end had occurred once all of the files have been deleted. Oh, death is so close. He worries for the man he considered to be his father but he is soon worrying for himself as he feels his heart stop.

The air is leaving his body and he does not think he can go on anymore. This is his end, this is all he can provide. He is ready to hit the ground and yet he does not. He finds himself being caught by his enemy. What a worthy act Light delivers. It’s almost as if they were actually friends.

His eyes close and Light’s smirk was the last thing he would ever see. He was not pleased to die in the arms of Light, but it seemed like that would be the way he would go out.

_You’ve been a worthy adversary and I’ll see you in hell._

Oh, yes. They would see each other again. L was never going to leave Light’s mind. He was going to haunt him until the bitter end. He wanted to make him miserable because he would always be bitter about this. L was dead and he would get inside Light’s head like never before. He wanted to make him believe that he still existed, that he wasn’t dead. Through visions. Through nightmares. Through his successors. No, Light could never get rid of L. His memory would live on, and he hoped Light hated every moment of it. Just like L hated every moment of being Ryuzaki.

This would be his last asshole move and parting wasn’t sweet sorrow because he would never leave Light’s mind.

**Author's Note:**

> BOOM ROASTED...  
> Kidding, kind of. I had such an amusing time writing this and I put a lot of effort into it. I can honestly say that this is a favorite piece of writing that I've done. It's a rarity that I ever write something like this, but I honestly love it a lot. Don't worry, though, because your regularly scheduled LawLight sin will return. But, I just had to write this. I hope you enjoyed it and it was pleasant for you to read because I had a blast writing it. 
> 
> But, shit fam you can bet your ass I still have to promo myself. I'm still me. Follow me on Tumblr at destroydeathnotenbeforeitkillsme.tumblr.com for more DN content and my screaming about how much I hate Ryuzaki.


End file.
